Do i or do i not?

To start with, I would say i'd a nice day today. Changed my profile pic on fb, visited my cousin after a really long time, spent some good time with my two nieces and was home in the evening. Since i'd already spent enough time so immediately got back to my studies. But i think i'm losing that energy that vigour in me which i had had when i took up the work in my hand. I'm stuck to a single position and despite my hard work i'm not moving an inch ahead. I don't know what is wrong with me? Am i not working the way i should? What all should i include in my strategy to go things my way. When these questions resonate in my mind, a voice within me says..."May be, may be you don't have it in you?" "Why??? Why do i not have it in me?" I ask myself. And even if i don't, then why cannot i have it (considering the fact that i'm working toward it)? Whenever i hear these words, my ego hurts. None of the things could be so painful as this one, atleaset for me. I cry alone, listen to some loud music so as to prevent these words fall on my ears. The voice die down but not for long.

Today, I wanted to talk to someone. Someone with whom i share the same camaraderie. I wanted to let out my panic and vexation on him/her. I wanted to yell so that i could take out that negative energy. But couldn't get a single person. It has always happened with me. Nothing new about it.

So decided to post my thoughts and feelings on this blog. He(the blog) doesn't say no me, doesn't guide me but doesn't stop listening to me either. I really don't want to lose it now, not at this juncture of my life. It's not like that i want to prove something to people. It has become important for me because i want to prove it to myself, that whether i have it or not. I just hope that by the time this year ends all my fear and anxiety gradually fade away with time. I cannot live with this feeling anymore otherwise i'll really go mad.

As for now, I can do nothing but to resume my work.
Good night.

Doha: a cul-de-sac

“Wow, this sounds amazing. That means we not only represent our problems and sufferings but also those of other countries at the forum”? Mansi queried in an amusing manner. “Yeah” I replied. “ ’coz we (the developing nations) all share the same problems” I continued. “Oh come on. Why do we not resolve our matters first and then do these charities? After all charity begins at home” exasperated Mansi said. “Yes Mansi, charity does begin at home but sometime one has to do things collectively, in unison, so that one could be heard and that’s what India has been doing at WTO from the past so many years” Som wound up my point. “Ok. So how often has this ‘voice of unison’ been heard, huh?” Mansi retorted. “khaali peeli chai nashta karne ke liye jata hain hamara commerce minister, Aur wahi bhashad de ke wapas aa jata hai. This is nice. Atleast every year he gets a chance to visit all these new places” she chuckled in a tone of pessimism. This was the scene at Mansi’s residence when the three of us were preparing for an assignment on India’s role in WTO. However, we laughed the matter off and the discussion died down after few more deliberations.

Today as I read in the newspaper about the forthcoming Doha round, I am sent back to the good old days of my college hood when we would sit together and got into these arguments. Our arguments are finished, our college life is over, but the ghost of Doha continues to haunt us. Perhaps the cremation hasn’t been done properly, that’s why it is still lingering for years as I believe it died on the very same day it was born. So, what shall we expect this September? The same old unresolved issues: Agricultural subsidies and NAMA (Non agricultural market access). I have got bored of them now. Seriously, they no longer excite me to sit up at one place and go through them. I mean why should I read the same stuff on a regular basis. But we don’t even seem to have anything else to talk about 'coz unless these issues are resolved we (The Indian govt) cannot move on to the next one. This also brings me down to another level of proposition. Though one may call it premature but I feel that our demands will never be met with. Because every single time these issues are raised, the developed nations halt their progress with some or the other impediment. They never agree with what we demand or ask for. I mean had they really wanted to settle this matter they would have done it a long time back. In contrast with the earlier (bitter) experiences, I find it extremely amusing to see the level of optimism, which Mr. Anand Sharma (Commerce Minister) enjoys for he continues to believe that everything will fall into places by the end of 2010. From where does he see this ray of hope is still a mystery to me.

Chalo, I certainly hope to see him unravel it one fine day. But till then, allow me to call this Doha declaration an impasse.

Hope I will not be sued for my blatant and premature remarks. :)

An era of Commercials

Doing business without advertisement is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing but no one else does.
The above expression lucidly shows how relevant an advertisement is for any business entity. This is one such tool of marketing (one of the 4 Ps’) which, I believe, pervades the life of every Tom, Dick and Harry. We all use it, consciously & unconsciously, in our daily course of lives. Quoting from my personal experience when I started this blog a couple of weeks ago, no one noticed it until I put the link on the various social networking sites. I don’t say that it has worked wonders for me and neither do I expect it in the near future but it did not have a negligent impact either.

We must all have heard of the “Cola Wars” which sparked off way back in 1980s between the two soft drink giants (Pepsi and Coke) and we still see them at loggerheads. Though not in terms of products anymore but in advertising. If Pepsi alludes to Akshay kumar’s act of hopping from one building to another, just to grab a bottle of Thumbs Up (Cola). Sprite (Cola) too doesn’t leave a chance of making an allusion to the slogan (punch line, you may call) of Mountain Dew “dar ke aage jeet hain” (Pepsi) with its counter back slogan of Sprite (Pepsi) “Bujhaye sirf pyaas, baki sab bakwaas”.

But, are we to face a similar kind of war between Cadbury and Nestle too? The reason I’m made to think in this particular direction is born of an advertisement which I happened to watch a little more than a week ago. It was on Nestle ‘Munch’ which showed a ‘thin’ ‘lean’ guy beholding the nestle bar with longing eyes but is not able to devour it. Suddenly another squeamish guy enters the scene (Man!! the agency should have spent a little more on hiring better models [:P] Both of them sucks) and after knowing the reason says “Dude, you can have it on any day of the month”. Again an indirect reference to the recent ad of Cadbury saying “Meetha hain khana, aaj pehle tarikh hain”. What is to become of all this? I know Cadbury enjoys relatively a major portion of the market share (75% approx) and Nestle is too small a company to give it a competition (in the chocolate realm, that is). Besides, they both do not deal in the same industry. Nestle involves many other products which its counterpart doesn’t. Having said that, my prophesying of seeing a choco war is surely far from being true. However, I can infer one thing looking at this maze of Ad world that finding faults with the competitor’s idea seems to have become an important strategy in promoting one’s own product. Unlike the normal trend when the ad agency would come up with some innovative ideas bringing forth its features. Whatever be the reason, the youth doesn’t mind so long as it enjoys savouring the sweet delicacies.


And yes, next time you wink at a girl, make sure it is day time :D

Partisanship vs Individualism

The recent sack of Jaswant Singh on his contentious book has raised a number of questions in my mind. Leave aside for a moment, the contents of the book and the disgraceful manner in which he has been expelled from the party. The point is whether we enjoy the freedom of speech and expression [Art 19(1)] in our country any more?
If yes, then why such a veteran leader was sacked? And if no, then probably the time has come when we should remove this façade of being the largest democracy in the world. After all, we should not profess something that we no longer enjoy at our discretion.

Although I admit to the fact that a party which since long hinges on the hindutva ideology and which has unfailingly used it as a leverage cannot stand one of its oldest party members to go against its beliefs and doctrines. But then, does he not enjoy the right to express what he feels? Can he not keep his professional and personal life wide apart (assuming that writing a book is solely a personal act)? Does he always have to go by what his party says? If such is the case then I believe it is far better to be an individual and to be oneself, to feel oneself than to abide by what the party says.

This issue has again brought to the surface all those questions, which for long lingered into my mind and are yet not answered. One of them is:
Who was responsible for the partition of our country? Some historians are of the opinion that it was Jinaah who went in support for the “Two Nation Theory” and was adamant to make a separate nation. While some believe that it was Nehru who could not see anyone else but him to take the charge of the nation. When Jinnah expressed his desire to be the Prime Minister, Nehru did not agree to it who was also supported by Lord Mountbatten and this finally went to his advantage. Some people go even to the extent of saying that Lord Mountbatten decision’s to favour Nehru was largely influenced by Lady Mountbatten, with whom Nehru had some implicit relation.

I know I’ll never be able to find the answers to these questions (especially so long as I be dependent on the books authored by Indian historians). But still if anyone has any knowledge pertaining to this, kindly enlighten me.

The latent secret

Lifting up a story or an idea from a newspaper column and putting it on your own blog is as grave an offence as surreptitiously peeping into someone’s else mind and unapologetically giving your name to his/her thoughts (profound, if any). This is what I’m doing right now. But the idea in itself is so damn intriguing and interesting that I think I would be committing a felony if I fail to share it with my readers (if I have any).

Today was not a peaceful day for me at least not until the evening time. I was not being myself. Since morning, some vague and abstract thoughts began to saunter in my mind. I tried hard to shove them off but before long, my unreasonable fear would resurface again. Situation became worse from bad on realizing that I was to stay alone at home for few hours. Although being alone doesn’t require a great deal of courage, there are times when you desperately want someone to be with you, if not together, but at least the presence should be there. It certainly gives you a lot of mental strength. However, I ended up having neither of the two. Hence, I decided to read the previous day’s newspaper, which I could not on being busy celebrating the friendship day. It had an article on a renowned artist Sakti Burman, who has carved a niche for himself in the field of art. I’m not going to get into the details of that article which dealt with his life and his quest for indefinable but in the end he narrated a tale from Upnishads, so enchanting that here I am, writing it down past midnight.

“The gods had a powerful secret which they didn’t want the human beings to know because once they acquired it, they would become god themselves. So the gods thought of hiding this secret in the sky and even in the underworld but they knew that man was intelligent and would find it. So they decided to hide the secret in the head of the man himself”

A simple story yet requires a deep insight. A story, which unveils the truth of life. The truth that “we all are looking for something which we don’t know, we are always running after that unknown thing. It is a perpetual searching, it’s all in our heads.” Some may get it and some may fail. It comes after much thinking of what we want out of ourselves. Nevertheless, this secret could be anything. It could be a search of salvation, eternal peace, mental satisfaction let alone the monetary ones. But it is there, right inside our head. All we need to do is contemplation.

I don’t know how many of you would like this. But this is one area which has been subject of many bloggers. And tonight I join the league too.

For those wondering whether or not I got past that abstract feeling. Well, the story did provide me a close escape. Let’s see for how long.

Is it easier to fight for principles than to live up to them?

If I were to answer this question a few decades ago then I would probably say in favour of it and would perhaps quote the example of Gandhiji along with many others, who not only fought for their principles but also lived up to them.

But in this contemporary (materialistic) era, it is quite unlikely to say that. An era, which has seen nothing less than cruelty and may have to witness a lot many facets of it in the near future. Still, the notorious activities of the present time do not and cannot undermine the validity of the fact that the two things can indeed go hand in hand as they did in the past.

Starting from Gandhiji, who is too great a man to be described in words. In fact mere words cannot suffice his achievements and his noble deeds towards the establishment of humanity. An epitome of truth, a disciple of Lord Ram and a pioneer of Non-Violence and Satyagraha are some of his few characteristics to mention. A pious mortal who, since childhood, believed in his thoughts and actions and invariably adhered to them. (This one is reminiscent of the stealing act of his childhood days). Did he not fight for his beliefs and principles and lived up to them? I think my being able to write this post in an atmosphere where I can enjoy my space and freedom forms the answer to my question mentioned above. Likewise, if we turn the pages of history we will come across several other distinguished men who worked on similar lines.

But would I not be wrong in saying that it is tough to find such men in today’s time? The world, I believe, is divided into two parts. Good and evil, each one of which lies on one side of the door. So now, let us peek on the other side of it. The door which opens to the world of mass killing in the name of religion, God, caste, creed etc. Would you not as well call such people a staunch follower of their principles? Are they not guided by their respective ideologies so much so that they successfully execute their brutal activities? I know I am contradicting my own statement that I stated above (that no such people exist) but I would rather do the honour myself of accepting to my fault (hope it is pardonable) than to let my readers pin point me.

The long and short of it, it is as much easier to live up to your principles as it is to fight for them provided the individual ought to be determined and focused.

What you don't know can't hurt you.

A trusitic fact. Though many of us would call it a cliché but the truth remains that we cannot be hurt by something we don’t have an idea of. The thing that makes me write in support of this proverb is a product of my own house. I daily see my housemaid coming to our house at her usual timings. She does all the work that is expected out of her and seldom does she go on a leave, thinking that her salary would be deducted(though that is strictly not the case). She has often communicated her problems to me, which sometimes seem too harsh to be overlooked. All this makes me feel bad for her and there are times when I wish to have some powers so as to help her rid of all her worries and problems. And this is the moment when it really hurts to see the kind of days these people are made to face. But, the feeling of being hurt is momentary. It doesn’t last for long. The feeling of pain vanishes shortly after she is out of my sight. It is at this moment I realize that perhaps I was not hurt but a wave of emotions came over me leaving me in a state of sympathy. Yeah, this could be the right word. What I went through in that one hour was probably a mixture of pity, empathy, disgust, and wrath. For if I had to be hurt I would have to go through the same kind of condition which she went through. Then only I would be able to understand her pain, her grief.
Similarly moving from a local issue to a more global issue, I can relate myself with the agonies of people residing in the tumultuous areas of Iraq or even the miserable condition to which the women in Afghanistan are subjected at the hands of Talibaanis. But that is it. I cannot feel anything beyond this range. All I can do is make a substantive relation between the two of us. I can watch in television and can go as far as to the extent of criticizing the way things have been (mis)handled by the US govt. under the garb of United Nations.
Does that make me less human(e) or does it take me to the next level of maturity? I think I should leave this on time to answer.

Obscureness

Things which I often feel….

The thought that I have lost the power to feel the nature fades away when a gust of wind blows past me leaving my hair disheveled.

The fear that I no longer have true friends vanishes when one of them brings me face to face with my negativities.

The thought that perhaps I lack the potential to cross the line of success disappears when I see many other people standing right across it.

The feeling of anger and wrath ceases to exist when my pet unwittingly pounces upon me with the purpose of being playful.

The smile that I wear on my face loses its charm at the sight of a poverty-stricken woman trying hard to make her ends meet.

The determination refuses to descend when someone contemptuously says, “Forget it. You cannot do it.”

The pricks of conscience stops to trouble me after I make an open-heart confession to the person I cheated on or lied to.

My first step.

Not many people have a flair for writing or to say it differently, putting pen to paper. Yet, at some corner of their heart they truely wish to derive a pleasure out of it. The feeling of delight that they have seldom experienced, a thing which is so common in the realm of writing. These are the people who may be decent at communicating their thoughts and ideas verbally but when it comes to bringing all that together to form an impeccable and beautiful composition (with an inclusion of coherency too), they take a step back. To be honest I'm one of them.

So far whatever little I have written has been confined to either my diary or to my Pc. But today I make an attempt of freeing myself from this confinement and letting my thoughts and emotions go on a sailout of this endless journey.

Since this is the first time I'm trying my hands at this so here are few instructions for the prospective readers:

1. The language will be plain simple english with no flamboyancy, having the usage of some hindi fillers too(wherever required).
2. It is needless to say that the post would be subject to my choice though I shall try to make it more varied.
3. Last but not least, feel free to give in your reviews and of course your criticism, which I'm more likely to get.